


Written In the Stars

by jiho



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Friendship/Love, Gen, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-debut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-28 18:42:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/995228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiho/pseuds/jiho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Youngjae can't help but feel a little bitter about the addition of a new lead vocalist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Written In the Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Written for The Brownie Bunch fic exchange.

There are less than seven months before Best Absolute Perfect is set to debut.

They’ve gotten two songs for their first single album down, a choreographer already in the works for a suited choreography to match. The band members, the chosen trainees for the new group, walk down the slender halls of the tall building, curious and hoping to catch just a single note through the soundproof walls or get a glimpse of the dance they are to learn.

There are still many preparations to be done, but half a year feels very close for those who have been waiting for a long time. They’re almost there, they tell themselves, and they are ready. Each and every one of them. Even if there still is a lot to be done, the plans have been set. They can read it on the expression of their director when he visits them once in a while during practises. They are going to be phenomenal, his eyes promise them. It’s all written in the stars, the canvas of the map vast, twinkles connected by fine lines. It’s all there.

Except for Jung Daehyun.

Jung Daehyun arrives in Seoul for the first time after his audition in late June. It’s a hasty decision, and there is no time for a formal meeting that day, the other five boys busy and working in a tight schedule for a debut that is only little less than six months away.

The announcement is sudden, barely even giving the boys time to be shocked. News travels fast within the buildings of TS Entertainment. The addition is supposedly another lead vocalist and when this piece of information reaches Yoo Youngjae, he doesn’t know how to react.

It is lunch time, but his appetite is gone.

His initial emotion is betrayal.

If Youngjae has to be completely honest with himself, even with his confidence, he has been very nervous about having to carry the title of the lead vocalist of their five (now six) members group. Everyone doubts themselves when they’re put in such situations, but it hurts him that the management must have done so, too.

He guesses that he in some sense should feel relieved, but he doesn’t begin thinking like that until many months later. He doesn’t know the other boy yet, the new member, hasn’t heard him sing, but chances are that Youngjae won’t have to worry as much about his voice cracking when he tries to hit the notes that are just a little out of his range. Maybe he won’t even have to fake it before he gets that far. (Because chances are that he doesn’t even have to sing them at all.)

He doesn’t know what to think about that though. It reminds him of the feeling of having to give up.

  
  
_____

  
  
Youngjae tells himself that it’s not Daehyun’s fault when the older gives him a shy smile, arm stretched and offering his hand for a polite shake when they meet for the first time in the dorm.  
  
Daehyun is handsome, with looks that might even challenge Himchan, but he doesn’t say much, obviously timid in the new crowd. Yet Youngjae can still trace the thick dialect in his voice. His voice is deep, but not quite as much or quite the same way as Yongguk or Himchan’s. Daehyun’s voice is softer, missing the raspy edge the other two have, and Youngjae tries to imagine what he sounds like when he sings.

_____

  
  
Daehyun’s voice is clear and smooth when he sings, a little rougher and a little higher than when he speaks. His vocal range is wider than his own and Youngjae wonders how many (or how few) vocal lessons he must have endured before he reached this stage.  
  
Their vocal teacher is content with the new trainee, complimenting his talent even if he still needs some polishing and refinement. He has great potential, she tells him pleased. The smile on Daehyun’s face is completely different from the one he had given Youngjae the night earlier. His eyes close into slits, the skin around his eyes crinkling. His teeth show, pearly white and sharp canines. It’s so honest and so genuine.  
  
(Youngjae feels envious.)

_____

  
  
Youngjae is the one who becomes responsible for taking care of Daehyun. It’s not really taking care of the other, but rather that he is in charge of showing him around and make sure that he knows where everything is placed and how it works. He complains to manger Kang and Yongguk about it, but they both shrug him off. Yongguk is too busy writing songs for the album, they tell him, and besides being vocalists, he and Daehyun are the same age, so naturally he would be a good pick for the job. Youngjae sighs, defeated.  
  
He doesn’t mean to be cold around Daehyun, but he can’t help but act a little indifferent towards him. He’s nice guy though, polite and unlike Youngjae, he tries. The younger doesn’t reject him, does his best not to or tries to be subtle at least, but subconsciously, he carefully lines up a border, thinking to himself that he shouldn’t get any closer to Daehyun than this and that he shouldn’t let the other try either. It’s not that Daehyun isn’t interesting, surely, he must be and Youngjae might be a little curious too, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t have to.  
  
There is plenty of time to get to know Daehyun later. After all, they’ll debut together and might be stuck with each other for years. They might just stay acquaintances, but if they are meant to become friends, Youngjae believes that it will happen by itself. That’s what he tells himself anyway. Right now, he doesn’t want to force himself to bother with him.  
  
(Sometimes Daehyun does manage to cross the border though when his guards are down, like when they both can’t sleep at night and sit in the kitchen together, Youngjae silent while the other tells him about Busan. He pretends it doesn’t happen then, takes a few extra steps back the day later, hoping that Daehyun can’t pull him over it again.)  
  
Everything seems too hectic at the moment. They have decided to debut some of the members before the group. Yongguk has already made an appearance before with Jieun and word is that he’s going to make a solo debut as well. They have plans with Himchan as well, working on getting him some screen time on various channels so that he can have his debut as an MC this summer. They don’t have any plans with the rest of them. None they tell them of, that is.  
  
Youngjae thought this would mean that Yongguk and Himchan would be around them less, because they have other things to take care of, but in reality it just means a more packed schedule for the two oldest to juggle. They can’t miss out on dance practice as a new member equals a new formation. It’s not easy to get used to the changes when you’re feeling utterly exhausted. Progress is slow. Daehyun isn’t a dancer, but he’s a fast learner, and Youngjae isn’t supposed to think, hope, for any less from him.  
  
(This time, the feeling of guilt drags him down as well.)  
  
  
_____  
  
  
In October, Youngjae watches the leaves turn into golden shades of maroon, slowly drying out as they fall from the trees. His life has fallen back into a certain pace again, a comfortable routine.  
  
He is used to having the weight of someone taking up the place on the top bunk bed above him now. Daehyun is an early riser, but Youngjae has stopped stirring in his sleep when the older boy crawls down the ladder in the morning, because he wakes up before the rest of them. He has opened up to them as well and feels comfortable in the dorm and with the other members. Surprisingly, he talks a lot once he has come out of his shell. If Youngjae had to say so himself, he’d say that there’s no stopping Daehyun once he has begun talking, but he has gotten used to that too, is even able to mute him out if he needs to.  
  
(He does need to, because so far, the only really efficient way to shut him up is with food and being a trainee means being short of supplies.)  
  
Just a few months ago, debut seemed so close. It had seemed almost chaotic when Daehyun joined them. They had to make room for him and then make sure that he fit, so that he would settle in time. They thought they were in a hurry, thought they had too little time, but now it’s as if time has stopped. They don’t count in days anymore as they melt into hours spent in the studio, then practice room, back and forth, before they return to the dorm, bodies sore and weighed too heavily down by gravity.  
  
Management, too, must think that January looks a bit too far away, because they call them in for a short meeting at the end of the month.  
  
It’s Junhong this time.  
  
Debuting the youngest is a little scary though, so Yongguk is relieved when they tell him that they’ll turn them into a duo. Junhong only gets more excited, even more persistent to get his hyungs to call him “Zelo” now.  
  
“Bang and Zelo!” Yongguk exclaims, giving the youngest a high five. The director smiles.  
  
Junhong will be the last one. Half the group is enough, they have decided. They’ll keep the rest of them out of the spotlight in order to retain some mystery to group as a whole. They want to give them a sneak peek in the music video though, like a cameo appearance, they explain. The boys nod understandingly; it’s nothing new to have trainees as extras. However Daehyun won’t join them. As the newest and very late addition to the group, they don’t want him to waste a day away for such a trivial appearance.  
  
Youngjae doesn’t mean to and he thought he had moved past this, four months later, he really did, but he can’t help but feel a bit satisfied by that.  
  
  
_____  
  
  
They’re all gathered around the screen when the music video comes out, having decided to watch it at its release. The mood is high, all of them excited to see the final result. They have just watched the teaser again, Himchan’s hand still on Junhong’s back after giving him a proud pat.  
  
They all smile and laugh at the same times, pointing and shouting when something interesting catches their eyes, mouthing along to the lyrics. They are especially loud when they find a familiar face that isn’t Yongguk or Junhong’s.  
  
With “Never Give Up” and the new choreography that they have begun practicing, it feels real. The fact that they’re going to debut in less than two months feels real. Most of all, it’s the new songs they’re singing and rapping, humming under their breaths long after they have left the studio.  
  
When “Bang and Zelo” ends their promotions for “Never Give Up”, recordings for their new reality show, “Ta-Dah, It’s B.A.P” begins. It doesn’t matter how exhausted Youngjae feels after a particularly harsh day, the thought still manages to make his heart pound harder and faster in his chest.  
  
Youngjae is fairly certain that he’s the only one awake now, and he is happy it’s winter and that the sun rises later, so that he doesn’t have to force himself to sleep while bright rays of light try to peek through the thin curtains of their shared bedroom. He tugs gently at his hair, long locks dyed blonde. It feels just the same as it always has between his fingertips, just as soft, but somehow Youngjae feels different.  
  
“Lead vocalist Youngjae,” he whispers to himself, pausing. “Lead vocalist Daehyun.”  
  
They are thinking of changing the titles, to let Daehyun go by “main vocalist” instead. He doesn’t understand the difference, the determining difference of the other title, neither of them does, but it’s there. It makes sense when they’re handed their lines however, the individual parts for the songs. It’s very equal between them and in the end, it comes down to the adlibs, the high notes.  
  
The high notes belong to Daehyun, and Youngjae is relieved, because quite clearly, Daehyun’s vocal chords have a wider limit, comfortable where he might fail to reach. So he tells himself just that. He is relieved, not disappointed, not upset, and the touch of Daehyun’s hand on his shoulder didn’t burn him either.  
  
(He pulled away anyway.)  
  
“Main vocalist Daehyun,” he whispers to the dark.  
  
Daehyun shifts in his bed above him, a quiet creaking following the motion and Youngjae holds his breath. It’s unusually quiet this night, he notices when he starts breathing again. There’s the occasional sound of heavy bodies moving, turning in their sleep, sheets and blankets being pushed and pulled, but there is no snoring, no sleep talking, and Youngjae falls asleep, waiting for some kind of noise, something else than just deep breaths.  
  
  
_____  
  
  
Youngjae doesn’t like the character scripted for him for the new show. He isn’t very happy with the concept either, can’t really figure out the point of playing alien-rabbits. It feels a little childish. He does however think he’s better off than Daehyun, who is told to wear a mask throughout the entire show to give his character a mysterious feeling. The idea wouldn’t be so bad, if it didn’t equal hiding quite a handsome face and mute someone who’s in charge of vocals.  
  
(Muting Jung Daehyun though, doesn’t feel like a bad idea.)  
  
As pleased as Youngjae reminds himself that he shouldn’t be, he’s sure that the older won’t have any trouble earning fans. He’s not as much sulking as he’s feeling anxious, because mixed with his excitement; he can feel the fear jerking at him. He’s afraid of not being received well by the viewers and possible fans. They already know Yongguk, Himchan and Zelo, the three of them even have fans, but there is no guarantee that Youngjae is able to follow in their footsteps. He’s suddenly afraid many things, of not being able to follow the choreography when it really counts, miss a beat, lose his balance or his breath and not be able to sing his lines or reach his notes.  
  
Youngjae hadn’t felt this insecure before, had confidence in himself, but as the count of days lessens, their debut closing in and as the dance practices become more intense and the periods of vocal training longer, he can feel himself staggering.  
  
It’s not Daehyun’s fault, he repeats, but when the other vocalist came into the picture, finding his own flaws became a lot easier. It is hard when someone, a complete stranger, suddenly steps in from nowhere and is told to help you carry a weight you didn’t even realise was tearing you down. The thought scares him, because even though he has been aware that holding the position as the lead vocalist by himself would be troublesome, he has never thought he needed someone else, which it now looks like he obviously did. It’s as if he was being kept in the dark, his eyes closed and blind until he was pulled out, light prickling, forcing, his eyelids open.  
  
Youngjae feels small.  
  
  
_____  
  
  
They finish the recording for the first episodes of “Ta-Dah It’s B.A.P” along with their debut teaser within the first two weeks of December. While they can’t see the episodes yet, they are shown their debut teaser as the producers want their reactions for an episode. The teaser is short, not even half a minute long, and Youngjae wonders how much of the recording for these episodes will be cut out. He doesn’t even know what will happen in half of the show, has only been present when they needed him. He knows that Daehyun has been recording for some voice-over, but he has no idea of what he has been saying.  
  
The production designers decide to record the rest of the episodes after Christmas. They get to visit home for the holiday. Regard it as a break just before debut, they tell them, it’s the perfect opportunity to recharge before the real work begins.  
  
They don’t have phones as trainees, but they get to call home before they have to leave, allowing them for once to speak with their parents for more than just a couple of minutes and plan out whatever needs to be planned. Daehyun offers to take his call as the last one of them. It’s a smart move that allows him to have more time, no one waiting for him to finish so they can have their turn. Youngjae doesn’t think too much of it, no one does, all of them too eager to be first in line and speak to their family as soon as possible.  
  
He disappears off with the phone in hand after receiving it from Yongguk, telling them he’ll go to take his call at the rooftop, and when he hasn’t returned after thirty minutes, dinner about to be ready, manager Kang sends Youngjae out after him. The boy grumbles a little, having been interrupted during his gameplay, but pulls a pair of slippers on, his coat in hand, and heads out.  
  
  
_____  
  
  
The wind is strong, hissing at him and sending him a step back as he opens the heavy door to the rooftop. The cold gives him chills, his arms coming up to wrap around himself. He barely even hears the door close behind him.  
  
Daehyun stands at the railing, leaning against it, eyes on the cityscape in front of him, softly speaking into the phone.  
  
The younger can’t hear what he’s saying, but as he steps closer, he’s able to catch a few words, the rest of the sentences drowned by the wind. It becomes easier as he closes the distance between them, the other still oblivious of his presence.  
  
Youngjae isn’t eavesdropping, he just happens to be within hearing range as he approaches the older boy.  
  
“Really,” he says into the phone, his voice a pitch higher than usual, impatient, persistent and a little whiny. “Yes! They treat me well! They’re good guys, mom, please don’t worry.” He’s silent then, giving his mother a few moments to respond on the other side of the line.  
  
When Daehyun speaks again, his voice is quieter and the only thing he can hear is that Daehyun tells his mother that he’s making friends.  
  
(Youngjae still feels guilty.)  
  
There is a sudden uncomfortable thud in his chest, pulling at him and he swallows to rid himself of the suffocating lump in his throat.  
  
“Daehyun,” he says, and the other turns around to look at him, eyes wide with surprised. He smiles, tells him that he should finish up, dinner’s almost ready. The older opens his mouth to respond, but only nods in the end, telling his mother goodbye, he needs to go, before he hangs up and joins Youngjae’s side, the phone still in a secure grip in his hand.  
  
They’re quiet as they enter the hall and wait for the elevator. They remain silent even when the lift reaches them, slowly bringing them down to their floor.  
  
It isn’t supposed to be like this.  
  
Surely, Daehyun gets along with everyone now though he still might be a bit awkward when he’s alone with certain members. But Youngjae and Daehyun are the same age. They’re supposed to be close, have a certain understanding for each other. Or they should be getting there at least. They’re supposed to be more than just band members.  
  
Daehyun isn’t making friends, and it’s his fault.  
  
“Hey, are you okay? I mean, here, with us?” Daehyun stares at him, fingers clenching around the phone. Youngjae’s chest tightens.  
  
They reach their floor before he receives an answer and he stands alone in the elevator for a few seconds even after Daehyun has left.  
  
He stops the other just before he reaches the door, grabbing his wrist.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he says with a quiet voice, squirming, “for making it harder for you.”  
  
“It’s okay. I understand.” Daehyun easily slips out of his loose grip, opening the door and leaving him the hallway.  
  
The tight smile on his face is nothing like any of those he has seen before and he feels horrible for being the cause of it. It’s not even remotely close to the tired grin he gives Jongup for offering him a bite of his snacks after an especially long day. (“Don’t tell manager Kang, I’m supposed to be on a diet.”)  
  
Youngjae doesn’t feel one bit better after apologising and he doesn’t think he deserves to either.  
  
  
_____  
  
  
When Youngjae’s parents ask him how preparations are coming along and how they’re all feeling, he mentions that he and Daehyun aren’t on good terms. His parents look at him questionably, not recognising the name.  
  
Youngjae realises that he hasn’t mentioned that B.A.P has become a six members-group with two lead vocalists.  
  
  
_____  
  
  
It’s January 8th and Youngjae returns to the dorm with a sore throat. The clock hasn’t even struck 10 yet, but he isn’t complaining, more than overjoyed that his schedule is over. It’s not that he thinks he has any energy left to do anything though. Recording for the album had definitely been different from what he imagined, but still, he thinks he did well. He struggled a few times, his voice straining to perform the desired notes, but at least he didn’t forget the lyrics, didn’t miss a beat.  
  
He feels exhausted. Though his feet are tired, it’s not a physical kind of fatigue. He feels heavy, his body moving slowly across the floor, his mind working in a similarly delayed pace. He isn’t sleepy, but he’d like to lie down a bit, close his eyes and stop thinking. Standing in the hallway, looking back and forth, he almost gives up on getting himself a glass of water, but in the end the itch in his throat wins and he drags himself into the kitchen.  
  
He knows he’s not the only one feeling like this as Himchan walks past him, straight to their shared bedroom without visiting either the kitchen or the bathroom like the rest of them. Yongguk seems to have gathered the youngest members in the kitchen, boiling water, which he figures is for ramen. The leader asks him if he’d like some too, but he shakes his head no, opting for some sort of lighter snack, whatever he’s able to find.  
  
He sits at the table with the others as they eat, slowly emptying the pack of flavoured seaweed by himself. They stay quiet for most of it, too tired and too busy stuffing their mouths to be able to keep up a proper conversation. Junhong finishes first, thanking Yongguk for the late dinner.  
  
Youngjae excuses himself as well a few minutes later, his bag now empty. Junhong must be occupying the bathroom, the sound of the stream of water from the shower filling the quiet living room. That’s when he realises that he doesn’t know where Daehyun is. He peeks into their bedroom, but their bunk bed is empty. Their dorm isn’t very big, so when Youngjae can’t see him in any of the rooms he opens the door to, he concludes that the older must be out somewhere. He grabs his coat, quietly leaving their dorm without telling anyone and heads for the rooftop.  
  
  
_____  
  
  
Daehyun isn’t on the rooftop.  
  
Youngjae has no idea where else he can be. The only other place he can think of is the practice room or studio, but he doesn’t think Daehyun has gone there, not even sure if he has access at this time. It’s a few blocks away (and then some), so he goes anyway. The cold woke him up, he might as well.  
  
He snuggles further down his coat as he walks down the street. The sky is dark, pitch black and completely void of anything that could resemble stars, the full moon only making it seem emptier. Still, there are street lights to guide him, illuminating his surroundings, and occasionally, passing cars too that tend to blind him.  
  
He finds Daehyun by coincidence, on a bench next to a naked tree on a street he wouldn’t have noticed had he not turned to look through a random alleyway. He was easy to spot. You don’t come across a lot of blonde heads here.  
  
The older boy is sitting there, a bottle of iced tea in his hands, without looking at anything in particular it seems. He doesn’t say anything when Youngjae takes a seat next to him, doesn’t even look at him, but he doesn’t move away either. The other keeps quiet too, not sure of what to say. They haven’t talked much since they returned from their visit home. They’ve been busy working on the preparations for their debut, not just the album and choreographies, but the showcase as well. It’s not like they talked much before, but the atmosphere gets more tense when you’re aware of the reason why.  
  
Youngjae thinks about apologising again, his hands digging further into his pockets. He opens his mouth, but struggles with the words.  
  
“I’m not mad at you, you know,” Daehyun says, before he manages to construct a sentence. He still murmurs out a ‘sorry’.  
  
It turns out that Daehyun’s big mouth can be good for something as he stirs up a conversation a few minutes later leading the topic elsewhere. Youngjae has never thought about it, maybe he didn’t want to, but the two of them have many things to talk about. While recording wasn’t very difficult for him, the older has a hard time singing while remembering the steps of the choreography. The other tells him that there’s still time, that he isn’t a bad dancer and in worst case scenario, his vocal skills will make up for it. Daehyun pauses, looking at him, surprised.  
  
“You think I’m a good singer?” Youngjae pouts, because of course, he thinks Daehyun is a good singer, doesn’t understand how or why he would doubt that.  
  
“I don’t know,” Daehyun says, tilting his head, “you’ve just never told me before. Even though I’ve complimented your voice.”  
  
“Oh,” Youngjae replies, biting his lower lip. “I’m sorry.”  
  
Daehyun shakes his head, “it’s okay.”  
  
“You have a great voice, really, it’s amazing. And your skills too. I wish I could sing like that.”  
  
The older boy laughs and tells him thank you. He looks a little flustered, looking down between his legs, so Youngjae tilts his head a bit too, because when Daehyun smiles, he smiles with his entire face, eyes closed, mouth open, the lines on his face deepening, and he doesn’t want to miss that.  
  
(Youngjae feels great, maybe a little proud too, because he put that smile on his face.)  
  
  
_____  
  
  
Youngjae turns 19 on January 24th, and he almost forgets only he doesn’t.  
  
It’s Tuesday and his schedule is as packed as ever, so there is no time to celebrate. He is greeted with happy birthday’s by his members in the morning and again in the evening when his day has finished. They celebrate him with a small gifts and a cake with plenty of cream and fruits on top, one lit candle in the middle. Daehyun holds it for him while he blows it, makes a wish. When they ask him what he wished for, he lies, telling them that he wished for B.A.P to be successful and to receive lots of love from fans all over the world.  
  
(Making a wish about Jung Daehyun is embarrassing already; he doesn’t need to say it out loud as well.)  
  
  
_____  
  
  
Everything is a mess.  
  
They have stylists and make-up artists running back and forth, desperate to finish in time. They have just returned backstage after the interview with Yumdda, but Jongup has somehow managed to spill water all over himself and now they have to redo his make-up while trying to dry his clothes. In the chaos someone backs into the make-up artist, making her drop her eyeliner.  
  
It’s almost ironic how one of the staff members dashes past them, stepping on the pen as it hits the floor. The crack is inaudible in its noisy surrounding, but the girl’s shriek is not. She’s furious, ready to chase after the offender when someone tells her to finish up her work first, the showcase is starting soon. She hisses at him, causing the man to step back, but she resumes to Jongup nonetheless. The boy looks very uncomfortable in his seat now. Youngjae can’t blame him; the girl looks ready to stab someone and the new eyeliner in her hand has just been sharpened.  
  
Youngjae scoots away from the scene, heading for the stage. He eyes the cubic frames they’re supposed to enter for the introduction. Daehyun is standing there too, fingers playing with the top button of his suit. His hands fall to his sides when he spots Youngjae, who steps closer to him.  
  
“How are you feeling?” the younger tries hesitantly, giving him a small smile.  
  
They’re better, but they’re not quite _there_ yet.  
  
Daehyun returns the smile, licking his lips before he answers. Youngjae expects it when he says that he’s nervous, isn’t even surprised when he adds that he’s a little scared too. He doesn’t have a proper answer though, settles with a “me too,” and turns his eyes towards the audience he can’t see. They’re not cheering, not yet, but such a big crowd is bound to make some noise and so it does.  
  
It doesn’t ease the tension.  
  
“Hey,” he says when he sees Daehyun fingering with his sleeve, pulling and tugging at it. He grabs his hand, holds it in his. “Relax. Don’t worry so much. They’re gonna love you.”  
  
The other blinks, lips parting before he smiles, shyly. He gives Youngjae’s hand a light squeeze, breathing out deeply as he looks him in the eyes.  
  
Youngjae can feel himself calm down too as he looks at him, even if just the slightest bit.  
  
He squeezes Daehyun’s hand back.  
  
(Youngjae think he might be happy.)  
  
  
_____  
  
  
Youngjae isn’t exactly the biggest fan of skinship and neither is Daehyun, but in the end, they don’t mind it. There’s something comforting about it, so none of them questions it when the older silently crawls into Youngjae’s bed, sliding under his blanket.  
  
They don’t touch, don’t wrap their arms around each other or tangle their legs together. They lie next to each other, just close enough to feel each other’s warmth.  
  
Daehyun eyes are closed into slits, relaxed, his skin smooth unlike when he smiles and the skin tightens. Youngjae thinks he looks handsome like this too, peaceful and at ease. The younger closes his eyes as well, whispering goodnight.  
  
Daehyun is already sleeping, having blamed his exhaust on jetlag before even going to bed (they’re in Singapore, what jetlag) so he only receives silence in return, but that’s alright, because Daehyun is an early riser, always first to wake up and greet him when he opens his eyes, telling him good morning.  
  
(Youngjae doesn’t know what he feels right now, can’t really find the words to describe the tingling feeling in his stomach that makes him think he might be able to stay up all night yet sleep tranquilly all the same, but he knows that he doesn’t want it to stop and that he doesn’t need to feel anything else but this towards Jung Daehyun.)

**Author's Note:**

> dear recipient, i really hope you like this and that it somehow meeta your expectations /)____(\  
> when i saw the prompt, i knew right away, i'd write this one. i haven't written a lot of bap yet, this is my first (finished) actual fic for this fandom, and i have a tendency to not write from the pov of my biases, so writing something that had to focus on youngjae was, well, i wouldn't say hard, but it was definitely different. i wanted the fic to be ~realistic, but daejae is always like, 'we were best buds from the beginning' so figuring out how i wanted this to be was difficult and it doesn't look at all like my first drafts. that and i don't know anything about trainee life. it was interesting though and i used the opportunity to rewatch ta-dah for researching purposes v____v
> 
> and then also many, many thanks to esther (who doesn't even read bap fics) and avi for helping me beta this. hopefully we caught all my embarrassing misakes because there was... a lot... orz  
> 


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